Fear, truth, and why I live my life loud.

I can count on 2 hands the amount of times someone has mentioned to me that it’s strange how I always announce my pregnancies within a week of knowing about them myself. Some were sweet about it, some were just plain curious, others were a bit more biting with their comments. Yes, I’m completely aware that announcing a pregnancy before 12weeks gestation is odd. I’m not ignorant, I’m fully aware that miscarriage can happen to anyone, and I’m in no way saying that I’m above miscarriage. My opinions for announcing my pregnancies are simple: I live my life loud, and I love it that way. I consider it an honor and privilege to have people from all over the world praying for my family by name. Countless times in the Bible we are reminded that there is safety in numbers! If, for some reason, I were to have a miscarriage, my heart feels peace in knowing that I have people around me to lift my family in prayer.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 ESV 

I know plenty of people who keep miscarriages and pregnancies private, and I’m not at all saying that is wrong. This is purely based on my own personal convictions, taking into consideration my personality.

“For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you— that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.” Romans 1:11-12 ESV 

Most of my childhood and teenage years, I lived in irrational fear of peoples perspective of me. I would lie for no reason, just because I thought someone would like that story better than the real truth. I would omit the truth because of fear of rejection. I would hide away from confrontation and avoid taking responsibility when I made mistakes. I lived quite tormented, and it wasn’t anything anyone had done to me. I had no reason except for low self esteem. I remember one day when I was 17yrs old I was watching a Barbara Walters murder/mystery interview, and the topic was a pathological liar. As I listened to the interview, I noticed that had more than 1 of the character traits….it freaked me out!! Now, I was in NO way a pathological liar, however I did mimic the irrational reasons for withholding truths from people. I committed myself to being OVERLY truthful…I told people way too many details in an effort to reverse my lifestyle. I wanted to be known. I LOVE being known. There is freedom and security in being known!

“For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.” Luke 8:17 ESV 

“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another?” Romans 14:1-23 ESV

My way is not the “right” way, and it’s not the only way. It’s just the way that works for me! Once again, I want to repeat that this is merely an explanation of my behavior, and I’m not saying that you need to live your life blasted on social media! I’m merely trying to convey that because of my past, I choose to let people into my life because it’s safe! I no longer live in fear of rejection, I no longer live in fear of judgement. I choose to be who I am, and show you into my world, even if it’s something that could be potentially messy. I’ve lived in loneliness and a world where I felt no one truly knew who I was, and walking out of that has shown me that I need friends, I need family, I need CHURCH. I love people knowing me also so that I can receive guidance and counsel. If there were an issue I was dealing with, how would I be able to learn or grow from it if I wasn’t willing to be completely vulnerable? If you were to ask me any question, it would be answered. If I were to keep my real emotions or feelings hidden, that leaves limited room for friends and leaders to guide or encourage me. I want to grow, and for me, growth comes from openness. I love community. Welcome to my life!

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14 ESV

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ESV

“From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” Ephesians 4:16 ESV 

“But Christ is faithful over God’s house as a son. And we are his house if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope.” Hebrews 3:6 ESV





11 thoughts on “Fear, truth, and why I live my life loud.

  1. Good post Alyssa!! I can so relate to your journey and keeping myself from being truly transparent. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Wow. I would sure love some more on the subject of not being afraid to be vulnerable because it is something I struggle with. I have struggled with trusting people and showing them the real me- the good and not so good- for fear of rejection, fear of Getting Hurt or simply fearing things Will not go as I planned but reading this encouraged me to know it can be done and it is good to have others surround me… I am working in this area of my life and it was great to read your take on this! Thank you, Alyssa. God bless you!

  3. Hey! Great advice! Do you think you could give me some advice on modesty? I am still young and learning really what it is in the way I act and dress. I would love to hear some tips from you!!

  4. I just found you on Instagram somehow…and let me say I am so glad! You have such a wonderful heart- and you are so freaking cute with you and your little family!

  5. Thank you so much!! I also love to share everything with everyone and recently I asked myself if something’s wrong with me… you encouraged me!
    And about announcing the pregnancy early: Philippa-Jo Dobson, author of “Pregnancy in His Presence”, also writes about this. She says we speak life into the pregnancy each time we say to someone “I’m pregnant”. Could it not be that if we don’t say it out of fear from a miscarriage, we give power to fear and miscarriage?? Just a thought..

  6. I recently found your blog and I love how real and honest you are! I totally agree with your point of view about announcing your pregnancies “early”. I don’t have any children yet (and probably won’t for a while), but I’ve always thought it would be better to go through, God forbid, a miscarriage with people already knowing about the pregnancy than to keep it to yourself. That’s just my two cents 🙂

    On another note, I am curious about your thoughts on Supernatural Childbirth. I’ve heard people talking about it and and was wondering what you thought since you have two children and are pregnant again (congrats by the way!).

    Blessings to you and your family!

  7. Just wanted to let you know that your are such and inspiration to me!!! I follow your Insta and read your blog often and it is always something that I am going through!!! Thanks for being such a vessel for The Lord!!!

  8. Hi Alyssa!

    So great to read this I am exactly the same. We are having our 4th baby & each time we have literally told people just after we did the test!
    Life’s about sharing and loving the good & the not so good as far as I’m concerned!
    It is interesting seeing people’s faces when you share your news so “early” 🙂
    Anyways love what your about, so motivating xx

  9. Beautifully written Alyssa. Life your life loud! Living from a place of joyful vulnerability in our relationships opens us up to give and receive so much more from others, and encounter more of who the Father wants to be to us. Blessings coming to you from NZ. – Victoria

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